So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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