PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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