counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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