Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
