from now on my penis is your penis
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize