If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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