mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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