His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
