You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
