Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
