Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
