I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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