They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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