Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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