3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize