she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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