so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
