This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
