ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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