you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
