toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
