I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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