I'm gonna have a badass scar
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
