I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
