I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
