I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
