so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
