i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
