ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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