Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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