I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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