she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
