I never want to see another naked old woman again.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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