are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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