put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
