you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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