smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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