WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
