i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize