lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
