I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
