Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
