hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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