omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
