I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
