You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
