He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
