I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
is wine microwaveable?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
