oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
