it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
