my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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