Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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