just come out here and I will go home with you...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
