Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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