First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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