3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
