there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You did what with his pubic hair?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
