I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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