you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Life is so much better after having sex.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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