Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
