I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
