I'm lost and stupid without you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
