I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize