I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
