my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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